Washtub and Wringer?

I do not live in the 1800's.

I do not own a washtub, nor do I own a washing board, nor do I own a wringer.

I do not consistently plunge my hands into hot or cold water until they crack to wash my clothes.

This is what my washer is for.

However, when said washer starts billowing firecracker smoke and wailing like a fire engine, one wonders if Target sells the above items. It's amazing what you see around your house that needs to be washed when your washer is no longer with you in the land of the living. My table cloth is sorely in need of a good scrubbing. All of Mac's bibs are filthy, and I can't bring myself to use dirty ones again. Every dish towel in the house is dirty, as I've been using them for Mac's bibs. I think I'm clamping them behind her neck with a drapery clip. Leiden has approximately 0 pairs of pants to wear tomorrow, and her comforter has Desitin on it from one of Mac's many diapering escapades. The pants I want to wear Friday to the Twilight soiree also have Desitin on them. Did I mention that Leiden has no pants to wear tomorrow?

Anyway, the folks at Sears are bringing me a nice, new, working washer tomorrow, and they'll kindly take the firecracker stinky one away. That would be after I remove the soaking wet clothes that were mid-cycle when the wailing started and the spinning stopped. Not to mention the water that is still in the basin of the washer that I have to siphon/bail out/hope it evaporates/upend the washer to get rid of. I'm still undecided on my method, but upending the whole washer sounds fun. This was all determined, of course, after I had talked to several companies and found that they could get a washer to me by Saturday. Great. IT'S TUESDAY.

At any rate, disaster averted. Maybe I'll get my pants clean in time for Twilight after all.